SNL's "Heated Rivalry" Meets "Harry Potter" in Hilarious Parody

Welcome to Hogwarts like you've never seen it before. Thanks to the success of Heated Rivalry, HBO is making some big changes to its forthcoming Harry Potter adaptation… at least according to Saturday Night Live. In a sketch parodying both shows, SNL announces that the Wizarding World series has been "hastily rewritten" to recreate the fervor of the sexy gay hockey show. Which can mean only one thing: naked Quidditch. Starring Finn Wolfhard as Harry Potter and Ben Marshall as Ron Weasley, the spoof ages the characters up to 18 ("Hogwarts is, like, college now," says the voiceover) and rewrites their friendship into a love story that begins with an innuendo-filled meet-cute. In this tale, Harry and Ron first cross paths after bumping into each other in the halls of Hogwarts. "You dropped your wand," Ron says, their hands touching as they both reach to pick it up. Looking into Harry's eyes, he adds, "It's lovely, by the way." But just like a certain massively popular HBO romance, this show won't be shying away from its horniness. Once Harry and Ron's worlds collide, the Harry Potter music cuts out, making room for the high-octane Heated Rivalry theme. "I'd love to see yours sometime," Harry replies. "I bet you would," Ron flirts back. The trailer's narrator then announces, "It's Heated Wizardry. Because the only thing hotter than hockey is Quidditch." But the broomstick-based sport looks a little different in this iteration. At one point, Harry speeds past Ron, taunting him, "Catch me if you can, Weasley." As he flies away, his cape lifts to reveal his bare behind — prompting some pretty memorable reactions from the crowd. "Ten points from Gryffindor, " declares Severus Snape (James Austin Johnson). "But 100 points for my spank bank," retorts Minerva McGonagall (Ashley Padilla). The steamy sequences continue: One scene shows Harry and Ron making meaningful eye contact as they limber up, while another features them getting hot and heavy beneath an invisibility cloak. The spoof also features appearances from several other Harry Potter characters: Chloe Fineman takes on Hermione, Kenan Thompson tries not to stare as Alastor Moody, and Jason Momoa makes a surprise cameo as the "old queen" Hagrid. Tommy Brennan also pops in as Draco Malfoy, but unfortunately for Harry and Draco shippers, he doesn't get in on any of the hot Quidditch action. After revealing their secret to Hagrid, Harry and Ron decide to play Quidditch their way — by sharing the broom and catching the snitch together. This time, Snape declares, "Ten points… for equality." Get your daily dose of entertainment news, celebrity updates, and what to watch with our EW Dispatch newsletter. Right at the end of the parody, Jeremy Culhane dons the Dobby costume once worn by Bowen Yang to declare, "Dobby is a horny elf." Sorry to say, Heated Rivalry fans, but the actual Harry Potter series, set to premiere on HBO in 2027, has been touted as a faithful adaptation of the book series. Since it won't be aging its cast up, things will probably stay pretty PG as young stars Dominic McLaughlin, Alastair Stout, and Arabella Stanton step into their roles as the golden trio of Harry, Ron, and Hermione. Until then, you can watch the full Heated Rivalry and Harry Potter mash-up above.