Namibia's High Divorce Rate Linked to Materialism and Lack of Preparedness

The High Court recorded 111 divorces yesterday, with 67 in Windhoek and 44 at Oshakati. Marriage counsellors have attributed the high number of divorces to a “desire for material wealth” and societal pressure on couples to get married. Pastor Lukas Katenda yesterday said a lack of experienced pastors may be a factor, as they may not be fully equipped to guide couples through marital challenges. He also attributed the divorces to a lack of preparedness, unrealistic expectations and difficulty adjusting to changes in marriages. In December, The Namibian reported on what many describe as a ‘wedding fever’ in northern Namibia, with pastors officiating the marriages of up to 40 couples in a single day. Taarah Shalyefu of the Saint Patrick Anglican Church at Ongwediva, who married 14 couples at that time, had previously said couples need to be prepared and understand what marriage is about as it is more than just vows. Marriage counsellor Ngamane Karuaihe-Upi told The Namibian yesterday that most people are not prepared to handle marriages and only marry due to pressure from churches or society. He said some couples marry in the absence of love and do not take the time to get to know each other, doing so merely to be dependent and have their bills paid. “People get married for the sake of it. They marry for cultural or religious reasons, comfort and for spouses to pay their bills,” he said. Karuaihe-Upi urged couples to take the time to get to know one another, adding that love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. He added that mandatory pre-marriage counseling should be done to prevent divorce. “When they face challenges in marriage, it is easier to want a divorce than face the issues,” Karuaihe-Upi said. MATERIAL REASONS Pastor Shalyefu echoes the same sentiments, saying most people marry for material reasons. “I have been in the service for 18 years and I want to believe that there is a new reason people are divorcing. Nowadays, people meet and get married for material things,” he says. He says in past years, couples stayed in marriages longer because material things did not interest them, adding that counselling needs to be provided in universities and high schools so that people are educated early. Shalyefu adds that respect is another a contributing factor. NO TRAINING Namibia Marriage Council founder and executive director Paulus Hawanga says marriage is a blessing, and people often enter it without proper preparation. He attributes the high number of divorce cases to a lack of preparation in understanding marriage, adding that many lack what is required of them. “People are not well prepared to make the right decisions, because marriages come with roles and responsibilities, and without knowing your role, you can undermine the marriage,” he says. Hawanga says marriage requires support systems, adding that without guidance, some couples leave after their first problem. “Seek guidance from both families, god parents and God before a problem gets worse,” he says. Maureen Dausas of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in Namibia says no one enters into marriage with the intention of divorcing, adding that understanding why marriages fail can help couples strengthen their unions and guide those considering marriage to make informed decisions. “When couples come to register their intention to get married at the church, they have to undergo pre- and post-marital counselling to know what marriage is all about and what God intended with the union,” she says. Dausas says the Bible views marriage as a lifelong covenant rather than a contract of convenience, warning that today’s high divorce rates reflect cultural shifts, human brokenness and a departure from God’s original design for marriage. While scripture acknowledges that divorce may occur under certain circumstances, she says it consistently calls for reconciliation, faithfulness and forgiveness, adding that churches have a responsibility to support marriages through teaching, counselling and community engagement to prevent the normalisation of divorce and its negative impact on families and society. – Additional reporting Nampa