Brooklyn Beckham Cuts Ties with Parents: Lessons Learned

Brooklyn Beckham has shared a lengthy Instagram story detailing why he has cut contact with his parents, global celebrity power couple Victoria and David Beckham. The 26-year-old posted to social media on Monday night, local time, claiming his parents are "controlling" and had tried to ruin his relationship with his now wife, American actress Nicola Peltz Beckham. So what is behind the post and are celebrity rifts like this helpful to see aired in this way? What was in Brooklyn Beckham's post? Rumours about strained family dynamics have been rife for months, with Brooklyn reportedly blocking his family from his social media account last month. In the statement, Brooklyn claims he was the one who was blocked by his siblings on social media. The aspiring chef says he had tried to keep family matters private but felt he had "no choice" but to speak out. "I do not want to reconcile with my family. I'm not being controlled, I'm standing up for myself for the first time in my life," his statement reads. So how did we get here? The Beckhams are one of the most well-known celebrity families on the planet. Brooklyn is the eldest of the four Beckham children, which also includes Romeo, Cruz and Harper. The children have lived a very public life thanks to the status of their parents, former professional footballer Sir David Beckham and former singer/fashion designer Victoria Beckham, who rose to fame in the 1990s as Posh Spice in the Spice Girls. The couple are commonly known as Posh and Becks. While Brooklyn claims his childhood and young adult life centred around "performative social media posts, family events and unauthentic relationships", it's believed that the family fallout centres around his relationship with Nicola Peltz Beckham, who he married in 2022. Brooklyn claims his wife has been "constantly disrespected by my family, no matter how hard we've tried to come together as one". "My mum has repeatedly invited women from my past into our lives in ways that were clearly intended to make us both uncomfortable," his post reads. Brooklyn claims that Victoria "hijacked" his first dance with his wife at his wedding in front of 500 guests. He also claims Victoria "cancelled making Nicola's dress at the 11th hour, despite how excited she was to wear her [Victoria's] design". He says there was further tension in May last year when he and Nicola travelled from their home in Los Angeles, California, to celebrate David's 50th birthday in London. "We waited in our hotel room trying to plan quality time with him," the post reads. The Beckham family have not responded to their son's statement and have never publicly addressed any of the rumours. Why does the Beckham story feel familiar? The saga sounds eerily similar to the fallout between Prince Harry, his wife Meghan Markle and the royal family in 2020 when the couple announced they were stepping back from royal duties and would be splitting their time between the UK and North America. At the time UK tabloids described the couple's decision to move towards financial independence as "quitting" the family, and a "declaration of war". The most notable foray into the public space was the couple's two-hour interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2021, where they aired allegations about racist comments and claims they felt the royal family did not defend them against negative press coverage. It has been reported that Harry is trying to repair the damaged relationship with his family after penning his scorching 2023 memoir, Spare, and airing other family grievances in a Netflix series. Are celebrity family rifts validating or potentially damaging? While strained family relationships and rifts are not a new concept, Rachael Sharman says celebrity news about them may influence how people start to view or act within their own family dynamics. "I am surprised at the influence they can have, and particularly in this hyper-connected social media age," says Dr Sharman, a lecturer and researcher in psychology based on the Sunshine Coast/Kabi Kabi land. She says if parents or family members don't approve of an adult child's partner or spouse, they can still be "polite and respectful" towards them. "If not, of course, you're within your rights to limit [contact]," she says. "If it is a relatively new relationship, however, you might want to check in with others that you're not missing something because of rose-coloured glasses." Dr Sharman says while it is "unusual" for adult children to cut contact with their parents, if they do "there's usually been a very, very long history [of issues] stretching way back into childhood that has been highly problematic and unresolvable". "And these are the difficult questions that some people have to find a resolution to." Relationship coach Megan Luscombe, who is based in Bunurong land/Mount Martha, on Victoria's Mornington Peninsula, says resonance with someone else's story isn't instruction. "Get curious about what specifically resonates and why, rather than borrowing someone else's ending before you've done your own work," she says. "The question isn't how to make them supportive, it's whether you're willing to stop performing for their approval and build your life anyway."